23/05

a lot of things happened.
i didn't told you about i passed my biophysics,
i didn't told you about i had dissection week,
i didn't told u about i settled down my credit test,
i didn't told you about i met the opthalmist today

but what i wanna tell you, NOW..

i was down to the earth. i lose the spirit, i lose the willingness, i lose that mood.
everyone seems like knowing everything, but i.... i was left far behind..
i know nothing about what they know.. they're smart, me??? hmmmm..

and i've been keeping them from monday, i'm working full time in class till that i was very, very tired and had no time for self study, i was dizzy, and about to faint, but i'll just keep them.

and it's all burst today. the class was so noisy, i was asking my friend to teach me personally, bcause i know nothing, but she was busy studying other region, well i did explain my region to you, why not u??

i was really, really, REALLY down that time. i don't know why i got angry easily this lately. plus that stupid nonsense gossip, i don't think i can hold it anymore.

suddenly, my tear gland function abnormally. it wants to secrete tears..  so i rushed to to the toilet, and release everything there. maybe not everything.

now, no one to be told, no one ask, no one knows, no one concern, no one...
i guess that books always be the loyal accomopanied for me..

diari minggu ini

assalamualaikum...

diari minggu ini..
rabu yg lepas, aku ada skull test. well, it's not that hard to study skull(recognizing the bone and vessel, nerves that passes through the foramen), it's just that we had too many other things to revise, so didin't study much for it.. really :(  so, me and grace had decided to go to the museum almost everyday, spending for like 1-2 hours study skull. enough! because the best way to memorize all that almost 50+ termonological name for skull, is to have that skull right in front of you. read, touch and memorize where and how it looks.
belum habis pun ayat dr kutal bila dia mention ttg skull "SO WHO WANTS...." aku terus angkat tangan. "who wants to take the test today?" i think that almost everyone wants to settle down the skull that day, because after this a lot and a lot more test are coming. so dr kutal continued his routine just like another wednesday, revised the morning lecture, and take us to the dissection room to see the specimen. but my mind, was thinking about skull. saying all the name of the bone, but only me that heard them. right after that, i was waiting so nervously outside the class, while Pedro and Ayman were tested inside, it feels like my my heart beats faster than it. well that's normal, whenever i'll have test, i'll always be like that.

i'm going inside, but it's Grace turns first. "Gud luck Grace !" i was sitting behind her. and that dr kutal decide that he will give question to three of us, while asking Grace, we will have time to revise. well that's better!! for me lah.. so Grace got that middle cranial fossa, i got that orbital question, Syah got nasal bone.

oooohhh seriously i never studied orbital bone specifically before. ok fine aku akan kelentong je nie..!! Grace past. alhamdulillah.. now it's my turn. " ok this is obital part of skull bone. this is the base, and this is the apex. supraorbital margin is formed by frontal bone, infraorbital margin by maxilla bone, lateral margin by zygomatic bone, and medial margin by... l a c r i m a l bone??" dr kutal geleng kepala sambil tunjuk2 tulang tue. "ohh no no frontal process of maxilla bone!" huh.. nasib baik.

next question "what's the supraobital fossa medially and laterally on orbital?" aku pun.. "ooowwhh, supraorbital notch and frontal notch!!!" "NOOOOOO..! i means this one." ah sudah aku dah cuak dah.. hmmmmm.. hmmmmm. hmmmmmm.. finally gave up "what is it??(sambil buat muka curious.. hehe). "its the blablabla and lacrimal fossa...." oooooooooooooooooo.....

then everything going smoothly. he ask me about the roof, floor, apex, optic canal, seperior orbital margin, inferior orbital margin. and the result is "ok we're done. i'm going to give you maybe um.. B or C... ok i give you B" huh.. can't believe that.. alhamdulillah..

but the main point that i want to tell here, when i stepped in to the dissection room, where all my friends are waiting there, everyone was just like STARING to me.." mcm mana2?" huh,, i smiled. "Alhamdulillah aku lepas" actually. the sad part is, i can't control myself that time. i was so excited, and i feel like wants to tell them the whole story!!!!!!!!! which is supposedly,, supposedly, supposedly, i should not show that kind of reaction. because they haven't take it, so i'm afraid that they'll get hurt by it.. STUPID ME!!!! it's just that, this is the first oral test that i passed. during entrance exam, i was cried after it because it's 50:50 to enter that uni, while all my friends got that confirmation. and during that post dissect, i failed 2x, and only this time, for the first time, i passed my oral test.  sorry people for being selfish.. i'm really sorry.. :(
but after that, i smiled when i saw Grace, because she passed too, and the best thing is, we study together, ad we passed together. that's the sweet thing :')

and on thursday morning, i just got knew that, " dear su, i'm sorry. you failed the test-dr radka". ahhh.. memang dah agak dah. takpa2.. boleh repeat..:)

and for today, i had that histo test. ahhh agak tough gak soalan kali nie. and i got that 69% something. huh.. apa2pun alhamdulillah dulu.. bersyukur dgn apa yg ada.. then, we had first aid, which was really fun for this time, because we demonstrated all that first aid practical that we know. very informative. but then, ada test plak!!!!!!!!!! ok fine rasanya semua org tak bersedia kot. memang tak tau pun ada test. seriously!! ok just layan je.. 15 question, and boleh salah 3 je. FYNE!!!!!!! ok buat je.. buat je...

sementara menunggu result, rumour2 mengatakan ramai failed. ah sudah. tp mmg x study pun. then when it is my turn, my paper was marked right in front of me, ah x sanggup aku nak tgk.. aku rasa aku failed nie. adui.. "su, ko pass!!!" HAH???? HAH???? wahhhhh .... smiled.:) tp ramai gak yg x lepas.. tak tau lah nak ckp mcm mana. xtau nak tunjuk reaksi mcm mana. seriously aku failed bila sampai bab2 nie.

kesimpulan cerita ini : alhamdulillah ya Allah. for everything that u gave me this week, for all the result, for the strength. i had been through this week!! i made it !! and another two hectic weeks before the dissection week.. fighting!!!

summer dah datang

assalamualaikum...

saya ingin mendeclarekan yg suhu hari nie 27 degree.. makkk aiii..

punyalah panas.. aku tak taulah apsal panas dia rasa lebih panas berbanding malaysia..

mgkn sebab dah terbiasa exposed dgn cuaca sejuk kot sebelum nie.. hehehe..

jumaat yg lalu, x silap aku lah.. aku baru keluar dr bangunan reception sbb nak ambik kunci laundry, tiba2 sorg mamat nie main roler blade, agak laju gak lah.. then bila ku tgk atas... x pakai baju????? seluar pendek je kot. aku terus menundukkan pendangan sbb agak terkesima sedikit. tp aku mcm x percaya dgn apa yg aku lihat, so aku toleh belakang lg sekali utk konfomkan. yes it's true.. huh..

hari nie plak, aku ada satu kelas je which is at 3 dan kelas komputer je. so aku pun gerak pukul 2 dr bilik. punyalah panas. seriously mcm kat Malaysia. x tipu nie. masuk library aku terus duduk sambil mengipas2 baju "huh panas2".. and the masa balik pulak, tertengok sorg uncle nie, dia bw barang, berseluar panjang, dah ok dah tue, n then bila tgk atas langsung x pakai baju.. astaghfirullahulazim..

agak2 lah gak.. kiteorg kat Malaysia summer sepanjang tahun tp xdalah sampai buka baju segala bagai.

apa2 pun, panas memang panas. dan kerisauan mula terbit di hati kami semua. "mcm mana kita nak mengekalkan keputihan balik Malaysia nie wei?" perbualan hangat aku dgn kawan2 sini... haha.. nampak gayanya weekend nie aku kena beli kipas lah.. bilik pun dah mula panas tau tak..

MUM

mum,
if i have the power...
i will make sure that u will never had that pain,
u will never had that sadness,
u will never had that worry,
u will never had that tears.

i will make sure that u will have pleasant live for the rest of your age.

dear mum, imissyou:'(

no test this week :)

only that this week i don't have any test. but next next week, i will have for like 1-2 test per week plus that i have to prepare for the final.. but still i have to self study this week and struggling...

doakan saya ya!! ;)

hati :(

HATI.....

kenapa kau sepi??? apsal ko senyap ha??? 

kenapa ko berubah ah???

apa yg buat ko mcm nie??

apa yg kau cari???

pernah tak korg rasa... korg xnak ckp dgn sapa2.. korg xda mood.. korg rasa nak bersendiri..

well, that's what i feel right now.. 

rasa nak ISOLATE diri dalam gua mcm Rasulullah buat dulu..

tp x mampu...

dgn timbunan-timbunan test dan study2 buku yg begitu banyak,

baca lain, hafal lain.... hmmmm

maybe that's one the cause.. tp bukan lah the major point for this heart problem.

aku tau aku boleh hadapinya.. Allah dah bg masuk medic, insyaAllah jd doktor yg baik satu hari nanti :)

hati hati hati!!!! heart heart heart!!!

apa yg kau cari???

kau ada masalah irregular rhythm, bradycardia, trachycardia tue semua ka??

ada valve yg tersumbat ka???

what is your problem??

jesenik..

yesterday.. this eleven girl had their picnic in jesenik!!!!

ok. seriously guys.. tempat nie sgt awesome. i was quite stress with study, books and incoming test, but along the way to this place, which is in the train, you will see the most enchanted view ever. MasyaAlah..

see the unique house up there

 view from the train

 remembering my chilhood

 masyaAllah...

 village house

 rombongan berjalan mencari bas

 air kat sini jernih...:)

 kak arina-comellll!!! haha

 i'm macho :p

 cantik ka??

 notice the weirdness in this pic

 dah ambik spot dahhhh..

ha nie lah batu yg selalu kuar kat internet tue.. 

but unfortunately, battery exhausted  :( only a few pic that i can capture, but i really2 want u to see it's beauty.. 

btw, it really helps relieve my stress :)

thanx all!!!!