dissection week

kami baru habis dissection week. the most awaiting week. where we have the chance to touch the cadaver. buang kulit, lemak, dan cari segala2 muscle, nerve, arteries tue semua.. sgtlah seronok. honestly agak memenatkan terutamanya bila dapat specimen yg agak gemuk, sbb penat nak buang lemak tue semua.. so korg2 semua... tolonglah jaga kesihatan baik2.. lemak tue sgt susah nak buang tau tak..

aku dapat brachial and cubital fossa part. bahasa melayu nya... >> tangan dan siku kot. mmg mula aku dah aim part nie sbb ntahlah rasa berminat dgn region nie... day by day, start at 7 till 12 pm.. spending 5 hours with them, eventhough sometimes i'm stressed and kind a losing my spirit, and finally....

we end it up... rasa sedih pun ada sbb lepas nie kena belajar teori.. belajar teori susah tau tak banding dgn prak.
tp alhamdullillah.. i have a better understanding now. and i can smile on the last day of dissection day..

what should i do..

when someone....
someone that you can't treat like a friend..
it's not the matter you hate, or you don't want to, or you are type of person that choose friend..

and he asking to friend back to you
what would you do???

 i know myself
i'm not totaly heal
there's still leftover pain which i try to find the medicine
i'm still continuosly taking the tablet
so what should i do??

should i just follow my heart??
i'm afraid that i'm not sincere to be friend with him
and i'm totally afraid if that would distract my healing point

or am I being too rude and selfish and immature..

my faults for not mastering my emotions.

pause blogging

byk sgt benda aku nak cite...
byk sgt event yg aku dah gi..
byk sgt peristiwa yg berlaku..
byk sgt luahan hati yg ku ingin luahkan..

tp, minta maaf lah awak.
byk sgt test akan datang..
byk sgt study kena cover..
byk sgt masa diperlukan utk study..

bila semua dah settle down....
semua dah stabil..
insyaAllah aku akan update blog nie k..

salam...

typical malaysian word in czech

1. an old grandfather approach me at the bus stop and saying something like "!@#$%^&*()(_+)(*&^%$#@!"

i say NEROZUMIM

2. A police call me by phone regarding to my visa and saying "@$$#%$^%&^*&*%^#$@#!#"

i say NEROZUMIM

3. an old man taxi driver explaining something like promoting the city "@$%^%&#$%#^%*^*%"

i say NEROZUMIM

4. workers in vietnam shop saying to us "@#$#%$^%&^*^&(*%^&%%"

i say NEROZUMIM

5. Pharmacian asking something when we want to buy gloves " #%$^$^&#%@#$@$@%@#%@"

i say NEROZUMIM

nerozumim- typical foreign word to the czech people

nerozumim means " i don't understand"

nerozumim will be such a waste to make some friends or contacts here

and it'll be an advantage when you think people badmouth about you..

jumpa mayat

"ok. everyone please wear your labcot, lab shoes and gloves. and i'll meet you at the small dissection room"
ckp lecture aku.

oh ok.. aku pun patuh menerima arahan dan melengkapkan diri dgn segala peraturan yg ditetapkan. sebelum masuk bilik yg sepatutnya, kami "terperasan" akan kehadiran mayat kat bilik sebelah. huhhh,, naseb baik x masuk bilik tue..

dgn semangat yg membara2 setelah x masuk kelas anat selama seminggu,, aku pun melangkah masuk ke bilik yg dicakapkan td. aku ternampak 3 katil simen, ehhh macam katil mayat je nie.. tiba2.. aku ternampak tangan dan kaki mayat yang telah dicabut dan dibuang kulitnya. OMG.. ok2.. aku x expect kami akan diexposed seawal ini and seriously aku agak takut.

dalam aku mengatasi perasaan takut itu, plastik kat katil tengah dibuka secara mengejutnya..

MAYAT-FULL BODY!!!!

OH tidak!!!!!! 

terima kasihlah dr Radka kerana memberikan kejutan yg bertalu-talu.

kucuba untuk mengawal ketakutan walau di luar nampak begitu tenang..
kulihat classmate ku yang lain,, relaxxx jeerrrr...

ok.. kusentuh sedikit demi sedikit.
mula-mula cucuk2..
then sapu2..
and then ku tarik2 musclenya utk cari muscle yg terlindung..
huhu.. makin berani..

alhamdulillah.. keesokannya pun jumpa mayat lagi dan aku dah rasa ok dah..

p.s saje je nak bgtau aku dah jumpa mayat.. hehehe..

pakcik czech yg baik:)

masa on the way dr balai polis utk settlekn visa, kami pun naik satu teksi nie. driver die pakcik2 yg taklah tua sgt. kami pun ckp hlavni nadrazi. Sebutan x lah betul sgt so pakcik tue tlg betulkan dan kami gelak2 mcm budak2.

pakcik tue agak mesra jugak tau, kami nie dah lah baru belajar dan faham ckittttttttt jak lah.  kami boleh ckp siapa nama, apa khabar, dan beberapa vocab jak lah. pakcik tue tanya something, kami ingatkan dia tanya berapa lama perjalanan dr pjero ke olomouc, kami pun tunjuklah jari 1 5 which means 15 minutes. 

tp kan aku rasa dia tanya kami ada masa free berapa lama. sbb,, lepas tue dia bawa kami jalan2 keliling bandar tue. mcm tour bus tue. tp nie versi teksi lah. seronok kan!!!!! dia bw kami ke centrum lama, novy(baru) centrum, dan nemocnice(hospital). ingatkan dia nak drive tepi2 hospital tue, sekali dia drive masuk. lepas tue dia terang2kan something yg kiteorg x paham.

tiba tiba..

dia parking dan matikan enjin. dia mcm suruh kiteorg masuk satu bangunan yg agak menakutkan jugak lah. ah sudah... masa tue kami dah cuak dah.. aku dah siap kluarkan handset, klu ada apa2 aku trus tekan je call button tue. mmg kami sgt2 takut tym tue dan bila masuk tue. nampak kasut bersusun2.. "eh, mcm rumah je nie." ah sudah... aku dah cuak sgt2 nie...

dia suruh kiteorg masuk satu bilik tue yg agak gelap jugak lah.. aku intip2 and tau tak aku tgk apa???

AMBULANS!!!!!!!!!!!

ohhh.. aku baru paham. pak cik tue sebenarnya baik, mgkn dia pernah kerja situ, jd dia nak tunjukkan lah ambulans tue. so aku pun trus masuk poket handset tue dan berlari2 ke ambulan tue.. haha ..dan dia sgt100x lah baik sbb dia x mintak tambang pun dr kmorg bila sampai main stesen tue.

terima kasih krn tour guide kiteorg wlupun skjp tp sgt berharga. and the most important is, you really have a kind-hearted one that i'm not expecting from people like you. dekui noc..!!!!

aku, mereka dan si train

"turun pukul 8.48 am ye" pesan kakak senior kpd kami yg sedang menuju ke prague menaiki train.

ok ok 8.48 am. so aku pun selalu je tgk jam sbb pengangkutan awam kat sini sgtlah punctual, klu terlambat seminit mmg akan ditinggalkan lah kau sorg2 tanpa belas kasihan.

8.50 am train tue berhenti dan aku sempat tgk nama stesen tue : praha-blablabla. aku pun x pasti. aku pun trus kluar dr koc tue, mengajak kwn2 aku dr koc lain melalui reaksi muka "eh, cepat ckit kluar". tp aku mmg dah pelik mula-mula apasal stesen dia nie nmpk buruk, nie kan bandar besar, "ooh mgkn stesen je kot buruk, sbb dah lama, luar tue cantik lah". siap cakap bye(naschledanou) lg dgn org2 czech yg duduk dekat aku tue.

kami pun buka pintu train tue, turun sorg2 and suddenly train tue start bergerak.. alamak, cepat ckit trun wei..  aku antara insan2 yg trun awal jugak lah, so safe ckit. tp line masih panjang lg, kwn aku x trun lg dan train tue semakin laju. sampailah fatin yg tgh memegang susu kotak tersepit kat pintu and then susu tue terpercik!!!!! habis penuh kat baju die..

aku dah cuak dah tym tue.. aku risau sbb diorg x sempat nak turun kat stesen tue. mcm mana nak patah balik??? diorg masih dlm train, pintu dah tertutup dan train mula bergerak laju. dah lah bahasa czech x terer lagi. Tuhan je tau betapa risaunya aku tym tue..

suddenly train tue berhenti. mgkn sebb aksi bahaya kiteorg kot. and pap!!!!!!!!!!

tiba-tiba kak Sakinah dr koc lain buka pintu.. "cepat2 naik balik!!" tanpa berfikir kami trus naik balik termasuklah kawan aku yg tertumpah susu tue yg baru sahaja turun dr train.

RUPA-RUPANYA >> kami tersalah stesen.. lucu sgt100x. mmg kami x berhenti gelak tym tue.. supposely stesen depan lg. yg lawaknya tue penuh yakin plak tue turun.siap ckp bye lg. aku jugak antara penyebabnya lah sbb aku yg ajak turun. (dah senior pesan 2x 8.48 am dan slalunya kan punctual). fatin lah plg kesian.. mintak maaf lah korg semua atas kesilapan teknikal ckit ya.. hehe..

muka semua x boleh tahan gelak dah..

life as a medical student

officially i'm a first year General Medicine student in palacky university, olomouc.

main building

ok xde ape pun nak dibanggakan k. full stop.

how's my life now??? ouuuuuhh..

ok. jadual x lah padat sgt tp test sgt padat. aku nak cite yg baik2 je nie, yg kes2 tension tue baek sorok nanti xda plak org nak ambik medik nie..

ok. international student dalam 50 org something lah. ckit je kan??? hehe.. sbb budak czech diasingkan dr kiteorg, sbb dorg belajar dlm bahasa czech dan kami nie dlm english. tp kami pun kena belajar bahasa czech dan ianya sgt2 lah seronok.

classmate aku - 3 org saudi arabia, 4 org UK, 1 org USA, dan 9 org Malaysia.. hehe.. major.. mula2 tue agak susah ckit nak bergaul dgn dorg mgkn sbb language barrier yg mana kdg2 kiteorg x paham sleng english diorg. tp sekrg kami dah mula bergaul dah.

subjek utk first year aku??? anatomy, biology, biochem, biophys, czech dan latin. senior ckp first year susah, so kena serius. but actually it's the matter of adaption. kena cpat adapt dgn cuaca, suasana pembelajaran yg sgt laju, dan juga org2 kat sini.

kelas aku plg awal start jam 7.30 dan plg lambt habis pukul 5.30. klu ada gap tue kadang balik hostel, kadang stay lebri jak. tgk mood dan kepenatan dan cuaca jugak.

yg bestnya belajar medik nie, kita boleh sentuh sendiri part2 badan manusia. so far aku dah sentuh vertebra(tulang belakang), tulang tangan, dan tulang kaki. insyaAllah minggu depan aku nak sentuh muscle plak. dan nanti ada dissection week, yg mana kami akan membedah dan membongkar certain part of mayat tue lah..
oh ya, klu sakit2 tue, xyah jumpa doktor. jumpa lect anat dah cukup. diorg akan bg list ubat utk beli kat farmasi, dan klu x sembuh jugak, dia akan aturkan appointment dgn doktor hosp.
sapa ckp budak medik x belajar chem dan fizik?? utk first year nie kami kena belajar jugak lah benda tue.

p.s : "everyone admit that medicine is the toughest course":))

-and i make the choice

i'm still alive

kamu kamu kamu !!!!

aku masih hidup lah..

masih bernafas di negara orang.

ok, officially current location aku adalah olomouc, czech republik :))

cuaca sini sangat sejuk sekitar 1 degree dan dijangka akan trun ke tahap negatif ya nanti..

sory sgt2 baru dapat update,

byk sgt benda kena buat,

byk sgt masalah..

satu persatu pengalaman telah ku lalui di sini..

yg 1st time ku buat, yg adventure, yg menguji iman, yg menguji keberanian, dan yg melucukan(part plg banyak)

jgn risau.. aku akan trus layan blog nie and akan try cari masa utk kamu wlupun aku agak busy sekarang.. hehe..

nanti aku akan story2 semua k..

no tears tonight please :'(

3 days to go

assalamualaikum w.b.t..

x sampai 3 hari lg flight aku ke czech. esok dah nak gi kl..
dan hati ini.. masih x bersemangat..

aku x taulah kenapa aku mcm nie. kwn aku yg laen dah semangat dah.. dulu masa buat a level aku semngt sungguh berangan maen2 salji tue semua, tp skrg aku x rasa apa2 pun k. ok mgkn aku yg bermasalah nie. the fact is, aku sebenarnya nak melekat family aku jak. sampaikan aku tak tergoda pun dgn salji2 tue semua bila dgn dorg. the fact is THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME. kan kan..

packing pun aku x habis lg sbnrnya nie. nak sumbat 20 kg dlm beg bukan sng tau. nie lah baru first time ku rasa betapa berharganya weight limit itu..

TAKUT....
yes aku takut. aku mengaku. aku takut aku x dapat adapt sana. terutamanya cuaca sejuk tue. aku takut aku x boleh survive . dan yg paling aku takut aku akan berubah.. yes itu mmg pasti tp berubah ke arah yg mana?? harap2 bukan yg diingini. hati ini berdebar2 membayangkan hidup sana. sekali lg kena hidup berdikari. masak2 sendiri, cuci baju sendiri, rindu2 sendiri. 6 tahun tau :'(

chill lah bulan.. inilah namanya hidup. x selamanya selesa, bahagia. yg liku2 harus ditempuhi kan.

i'll be leaving :(

after waiting for a few days, it's confirm that my flight to czech republic will be on 14th september 2011.
i'll be leaving.
i'll be leaving tawau.
i'll be leaving malaysia.
i'll be leaving my family.
i'll be leaving my friends.

sorry that i had to leave
:(

lawak lebam kepala

cantik kan??? kan??

korg rasa2 ada kaca ka tak di tgh2 tue??

masa first time tgk nie kan, in real view yg btul2 depan mata aku..

aku terus excited sgt2 x tentu arah dan trus berlari ke arah air tue..

and pappppp!!!!! adui.. 

seriously aku sgt2 x perasan ada cermin kaca situ..

lebam lah jugak dahi aku..

INI CERITA BENAR. 

X PERCAYA TANYA KAWAN AKU YG ADA DI TEMPAT KEJADIAN

things that i hate about car

benda yang aku x suka pasal kereta :

1. tak sempat brek
memandangkan aku ada pengalaman accident yg mana tak sempat tekan brek, dah tekan tp tetap jugak melanggar sampai terangkat tayar dua, fuhh aku dah macam trauma bile abg aku drive and tekan brek tiba-tiba or agak lambat dia menekan. seriously aku takut dan jantung berdegup-degup rasa macam tak sempat jak kereta tue stop, rasa macam akan melanggar jak..

2. naik bukit
bila naik bukit, dan bawa manual gear dan x pandai imbang, haaaa.. di situlah tiba-tiba mati enjin keretamu dan akan termundur ke belakang. klu takda kereta di belakang takpa, kalau ada habislah. pengalaman paling diingati adalah bila aku naek bas kolej aku, yg besar macam bas express tue, masa tue kitaorg nak gi putrajaya dan ada bukit yg sebenarnya agak tinggi dari biasa. tiba-tiba enjin dia mati dan termundur ke belakang, trus dia tarik brek mati.. ya Allah semua pucat time tue. mau masuk 4 kali dia cuba naik bukit tue x jugak dapat-dapat.. last2 dia guna gear 1, punyalah pelan naik bukit tue dan kami ikut sekali menahan nafas memberi semangat dan akhirnya berjaya!!! fuhhh...

3. pergaduhan
bila berlaku pergaduhan, masing2 mencari pergaduhan. kadang2 benda kecik jak. kan bagus bersabar.. ini tak pandai kawal emosi, dah tue marah2 plak, dah lah kita tension kan.. ok seriously aku rasa tak sedap hati jak bila pergaduhan berlaku. apalagi bila melibatkan lelaki sebab diorg tue agak kasar sikit. lepas tue aku ckp dgn abg aku yg aku nak letak banner kat tepi keta aku nanti "saya anti pergaduhan" hehe

p/s : macam mana aku nak ambil lesen nanti nie.. takut..

syawal 1423H yang indah

berlalulah sudah ramadhan..
sebulan berpuasa...
tiba syawal kita rayakan..
dengan rasa gembiraaaa!!!!

setelah diperkenankan oleh duli-duli yang Maha Mulia Sultan-Sultan, tarikh hari raya aidilfitri telah ditetapkan pada 30 Ogos 2011 bersamaan dengan hari selasa.... ye!!!!!!!! raya dah tiba...

malam raya tue aku dan abang-abgku serta kakak ku membuat persiapan last minute.. aku iron baju, kakak mengemas rumah, abg2 memasang lampu kelip. dan tiba2 aku terasa ingin minum sesuatu yg sedap jd kami pun kuar pi minum2.. kerja gila kan??? haha.. adakah patut malam raya pi kuar lepak2.. sekali sekala takpa kot.. hehe

di pagi mulia itu, kami semua bersiap-siap pergi menunaikan solat sunat aidilfitri. wah semua memakai baju raya berwarna merun kecuali aku yang memakai berwarna merah sbb tersalah beli baju.. hentam sajalah.. balik dr masjid, mcm biasa bersalam-salaman meminta maaf dan dapat sedikit duit raya dari abang-abang..
raya pertama kamiorg x banyak event sangat sebab abg yg sulung tue beraya kat rumah mertua dia, so lepas solat tue x pi mana-manalah..
TAPI... bersyukur sgt2 xda event ari tue.. sebab aku telah diserang diarrhea disertai vomit. nak aku sebutkan berapa kali masuk tandas dan berapa kali muntah ka?? x payah lah kan.. dan pada malam itu bila aku dah x tahan sgt, bila badan dah terasa sgt lemah, dan airmata x berhenti mengalir, aku pun dibawa ke klinik dekat hotspring tue. doktor tue sgt bagus dan aku diinject 2 kali dan diberi ubat yg banyak sgt. um tgk doktor tue kan tiba-tiba terfikir adakah aku akan bekerja di hari raya jugak nanti.. sgt tinggi kemungkinannya tp takpalah, tanggungjawab kan..

raya kedua.. ha.. raya kedua ni lah boleh dikatakan agak memenatkan.. kamiorg ada event family gathering kat umah aku sambil bakar-bakar ayam.. aku yg panggang tau.. haha.. rumah aku crowded sgt2 dgn kehadiran keluarga yg ramai sgt, anak-anak buah yg berderet-berderet.. haha.. sebenarnya nie family event yg kiteorg rancang nak buat setiap tahun. so aku pun  cakap dgn abg aku 'kalau kamu buat begini lagi tahun depan, balik lah aku' haha..

raya ketiga sebenarnya rancang untuk plan masing-masing. sapa2 nak pi beraya rumah kawan pun boleh. diberi kebenaran. tp tiba-tiba plak last minute berita yg nak ziarah kubur ari nie.. dan aku diwajibkan pergi ziarah kubur atuk nenek aku sebab nak pergi belajar jauh kan. so terpaksa delay plan aku sebab family first. bila balik, aku terus kol  si jume' sbb nak join diorg.. hehe.. lepas tue kiteorg gi umah ain dan juju.. cukuplah kot luangkan masa sikit utk kawan-kawan kan..

raya  keempat atau esok, kamiorg nak pi lawat-lawat rumah keluarga di pasir putih. esok 1 family lah akan serang rumah org plak.. haha..
the best thing about raya is when all my siblings are here dan kami semua berkumpul borak2.. that's the best thing ever in my life !!!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA SEMUA..!!!
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN...

what i've been doing last week

ok. last week sangat lah busy.. sangat ker??? haha.. boleh lah gak.

monday : 15 august 2011

at 9.30 pm I arrived safely at KLIA. Credit to Malaysia Airlines for the best hospitality especially to the steward who was so care about me, give me the the wet towel as a souvenir.. haha.. secret stories :p. getting my luggage that are not so heavy, and get myself out from the building, waiting for my brother who is too late to pick me up. then, we heading to melaka, historical city.

wednesday : 17 august 2011 

after asar, my brother and I heading to the Sepang, more specifically Kolej Teknologi Timur. The top in the world college. haha. this is serious la wei.. 'break fast' at Hasan Seafood but i quite dissapointed with the chicken soup. not so delicious as before. Maybethe chef are fasting so he cannot taste it, so forgiven lah. At night, meet my friends, the noisy friends.. haha.. and hang out with some old friends who still struggle in that college, they got exam the next day but they still lepaks2 with us at mamak. thanx guys and all the best. owh ya ! i'm staying at my junior hostel.. thanx sis utk layanan kau yg sangat sangat baik !!!

Thursday : 18 august 2011 

wake up as early as 5.30 am. taking my sahur before that and prepare myself with a formal baju kurung and white tudung. i look handsome ! hehe. taking the KTT bus which gave me lots of worries on the way to JPA office at Putrajaya. Arrived at JPA office, fuh besar jugak bangunan2 sponsor aku nie.. at 9th floor there is a big room, look like a meeting room very well equipped with mic in every seat. we are given the coat and a bag and wearing that coat make me look more handsome. haha.. we have some briefing from the JPA Officer, MAS officer and then bank officerrrrrrr.. the most awaiting one.. haha.. oh also got some briefing from a doctor about how to be a doctor as a muslim and also briefing from our senior which is really helpful for our preparation.

Friday : 19 august 2011

I went to Kamal Bookstore, the medical book specialist at KL, bought some books for my first year because here are more more cheaper than czech. And i was totally exhausted carry that heavy books all the way in KL. Also buy some winter stuff at sogo like long john, sweater, jeans. and then heading to my brother's home at Shah Alam, carrying all my things into the crowded train, so challenging one. after break my fast with the lovely food, i spend the rest of the day with......... sleeping soundly..

Saturday : 20 August 2011

I went to KL again. but this time with my brother to buy my luggage and some few stuff. it's exhausted too but not like the yesterday's level.

Sunday : 21 August 2011

as early as 4.00 am from home, we went to KLIA for flight at 7.00 am. but not to Tawau, it's to Sandakan. and i have no idea how i can be in the same flight with Haziq. The days was spend at the airport, waiting for our next flight to Tawau. so boring. and around 6.00 pm. I arived home safely. buka puasa awal.. ye !!!!

love is....

ok. aku pun xtau apa dah jadi dgn aku nie. aku baru sahaja terjumpa satu blog tue yg all about love. nasihat cinta, tips cinta, kisah cinta.. semua ada!

cinta.. jika kau tanya kepadaku..
cinta itu macam satu kuasa
yg boleh turn out hidup kau pada satu masa saja
ianya membahagiakan, tp juga menyakitkan

pernah sekali, seorg gadis menangis di tepi kolam setelah baru sahaja ditinggalkan kekasihnya. dia menangis dan menangis dan akhirnya dia didatangi seorang lelaki tua. "kenapa kau menangis nak?" kata lelaki itu. " aku baru sahaja ditinggalkan oleh kekasihku. padahal aku sangat mencintainya, kenapa dia langsung tidak?" jawab gadis itu.
"haha. kau memang bodohlah nak"
"kenapa pakcik mentertawakan saya?? kalau tak nak pujuk saya takpalah, tapi janganlah mentertawakan saya yang tengah sedih nie!" marah gadis itu.
"kau memang bodoh. kenapa kau menangis?? kau x rugi apa-apa pun. kau hanya kehilangan seseorang yang tak mencintai kau, tp lelaki itu baru sahaja kehilangan seorg wanita yang sangat mencintainya". 
betullah cakap pakcik tue kan..

kadang-kadang kita kena meninggalkan org yang kita cintai. bukan x sayang, cuma... pepatah ada menyatakan "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY, LET HIM GO. IF HE COMES BACK TO YOU, THEN HE'S YOURS. IF NO, THEN HE IS NOT FOR YOU FROM THE BEGINNING.
I started to believe this word. ntahlah dah malas nak fikir. biarlah Tuhan yang atur semuanya dan aku, biar aku kejar matlamat hidup aku nie dan aku cukup bahagia di samping keluargaku nie.

eh kenapa dgn aku nie??? tiba-tiba je cakap pasal cinta.. DAH LAH..

Dreams that i'm going to meet...

i was nervous for this week waiting for the result that is so nerve wrecking. MY A-LEVEL RESULT. fuh.. bagai tak terkata nervousnya..

ok honestly, sepanjang percutian nie, aku langsung x fikir pun pasal result aku. well biasalah, kan kat rumah, ditambah lg duduk dgn family aku.. so mmg cuti-cuti lah namanya..tp for this week aku dah start mula merasakan debarannya.. dan kemuncaknya adalah tghari td bila aku kol kolej aku.

putttt....puttt....puttt....puttt..

she : hello. KTT..

me : hello, um saya nak cek result a level

she : tajaan?

me : JPA

she : bound?

me : czech republic

she : nama?

me : sunarti achok

she : nombor IC?

me : 9 2 0 1 1 8 (slowly and shaking voice)

she : apa?? sekali lagi

me : 9 2 0 1 1 8 .........(louder than before)

she : ok. biology A, chemistry B(but i heard she said D, so i began to lose hope), physics A. pointer 14.

me : ha????? thank u.. thank u so much

ATTENTION : ALL THIS CONVERSATION WAS MADE WITH SUPER NERVOUS BEATING OF MY HEART!!

there it is.. suddenly tears fall unstoppably. I imagine before i will cry if i'm not pass. but i'll cry today because i pass.. thanx Allah.. alhamdulillah3x.. It's the confirmation to fly to czech republic-dreams that i'm going to meet..

aku nak yg beriman

lepas tgk syurga cinta, rasa sejuk hati.. xtau dah kali ke berapa aku tgk tue.. bila tgk cinta-cinta yg bertemakan islam nie, mesti rasa sejuk hati kan?? ayat-ayat cinta, ketika cinta bertasbih.. semua best..

ok. hati tgh tenang sekarang. klu sebelum nie, BAIK merupakan prasyarat utama utk lelaki di luar sana. tapi aku terlupa satu perkara. sesuatu yg sgt penting. Ya Allah, aku inginkan jodoh yg orgnya BERIMAN. yg mampu membimbingku, yg xakan menyentuhku selagi belum sah, yg akan sentiasa memelihara kehormatan. dan kalau boleh, aku nak jodoh yg aku terserempak buat pertama kalinya di tempat-tempat yang baik. bukan di facebook, bukan di shopping mall.. paling bagus bila aku bertemu dgnnya di masjid atau surau. tahu tak kenapa?? kebanyakan pasangan yg ingin bercerai apabila bertemu kaunselor, soalan pertama yg ditanya adalah " di mana pertemuan pertama?" klu hulunya baik, maka baiklah hilirnya.

sejujurnya aku taktau macam mana konsep mencintai seseorg lelaki bukan muhrim kerana Allah. selalu dengar, tapi macam mana nak aplikasi kan?? bukan senang kan nak menetapkan sesuatu hati. Belajar kerana Allah pun aku x yakin hati aku tetap 100%. kadang-kadang aku terlupa nak baca doa dulu dan ambil masa seketika utk tetapkan hati.. Apa-apapun yg kita buat, semua mesti kerana Allah.. betul tak??

ok. suddenly mood aku hilang pasal tajuk nie.. tiba2 plak ada uru ara menyatakan esok result out.. supposely lusa.. takut memang takut.. but i try my hard to not think about it.. if i'm not pass the cut off point, nauzubillah i have to forget everything about czech. if yes, alhamdulillah..

ok tetapkan hati. whatever result, Allah please give me strength. of course i'm gonna be sad, but let it just for a while. wherever i'd be send to, the most important is, i wanna be a doctor. i wanna help people. ok i need some time alone right now. dada..

i'm back!!!

it's subuh now..

and i can't sleep

i don't know why

i was thinking about my condition last night

there it is

my stupidity comes again

dear readers, sorry for posting that

dear myself, sorry for not loving you

dear Allah, i'm truly sorry

sorry for hurting myself

whatever it is

life must go on right??

suddenly i have the courage

i can't wait to see what will happen next

family, friends, and myself

i'm going to make you all proud me

becoz now i have the strength

and only Allah can stop me.

i'm sick

pernah tak rasa macam nie...

sakit dada yg teramat2 sampaikan bila kita tepuk2, tumbuk2..

x rasa apa2..

ha.. i feels it now.. and my tears..

it's just drop like that..

i can't stop it, 

i can't help it.

what should i do?

ya Allah, i'm tired of all this..

i'm tired with this acting

i'm tired with the fake laugh

i'm tired treating like nothing happen

you.. you take me to the upper sky.. 

but then you release my hand..

i fall, and you know, it's really hurts..

you know it, but you just ignore me like nothing

i love you mama

mak saya tgh buang kepala ikan bilis

bapak saya suka makan ikan bilis masak asam

tapi sy suka makan apa-apa selain masak asam tue..

and you know what...

mak saya masak ikan bilis sos cili... rather than ikan bilis masak asam

ye!!!!! thanx mom for loving me more.. 

I love you so much!!!

habit x baik

hello people out there.....!!
korang semua ada habit nie tak???

bila bangun dr tidur..........

xda mood.........

xnak bercakap.....

dan bila ada org cari pasal or suruh2 something, memang akan mudah marah..

hah.. what should i do.. i wanna get rid of this habit.. tp semakin menjadi-jadi plak..

what so special with 1st august

ok today is 1st august.. suddenly it reminds me of something.

something that i wish to forget.

something that i wish to conceal.

it's like a stain that i want to erase.

i wish to if i can.

no. it's like the best moment that i want to erase.

most welcoming ramadhan

wah seronoknya rasa hati?????

tahu tak kenapa??

tahu???

sebab RAMADHAN is coming..

and the best part is sahur, buka puasa dgn family..

takda dah order2 makanan dgn mamak, masak2 sendiri

rasa nak nangis bila terkenang zaman dulu2 ni ha..

1 august-1 ramadhan

cantik kan tarikh dia..

"alangkah indahnya hidup jika semua cinta itu mampu kita miliki"

korean actor that i adore so much

you... ask me the korean actor that i adore so much....

LEE SEUNG GI!!!!!!!

ok maybe i was too much.. but i'm not into that obsessed level to him.. i just nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu cuwaeh..my friends ask me, why i like him that much?? there are a lot more actor that are more talented, more handsome than him. I'll jusy answer simply. Because he's nice. He may be not so cute, not so handsome, his acting maybe just ok, he has a nice voice but nothing impressive about it. BUT,, because that i like him so much, in my eyes he is cute, he is handsome, he is a very good actor and singer. I.... i don't really care too much about the someone appearance, but once i like someone,, i like everything about him. He's perfect in my eyes. The thing that make me falls for him, is he is nice and he is humble. he has a clean image and he's just be himself.. believe it or not just watch the funniest show "2 days 1 night" and "strong heart". Also watch his drama "my girlfriend is gumiho" and "shining inheritance". 

Lee seung gi,, i know that you are busy and you may not read this post for your whole life  but if,, if,, if you are destined to read, i just want you to know, i'm your no 1 fan. You are one of my idol, even though you are busy but you still get to graduate, finish your study showing that you really care about your study. Maintain your clean image and keep your hard work!! no matter what happens to you next, i'm always be your fan.

shining inheritance (brilliant legacy)

this is one of the korean drama that really hit!! The family conflict really make you want to continue watch this drama. You will wandering what will happen at the end. After the death of father, being chased away from home by her stepmother, then losing her own brother, you will see how this young lady continuing her life with the leftover spirit. There were too many tears to wipe off. Luckily, someone who is good help her and there is also someone who always be troublesome to her and she really hates him. But then, hate become love and she also didn't realized when she falls for him. The troublesome person also has someone beside her, the one that he know since school year, the one that have the pain in heart just like him. So there's become rectangle love. Honestly, i was crying too much watching this drama more than it's actor.. hehe..

perjalanan hidup selepas spm..

ok. nak story pathway aku lepas spm.. 

lepas spm aku just duk kat umah jak. nak kerja tp mak ayah x bagi.. hehe.. anak kesayangan kan. pernah jugak aku apply kat kfc tue, berharap agar aku dapat supaya aku boleh makan kfc free hari2 tp tnggu punya tnggu dia kol xdalah plak.. hehe.. sedih ckit.. so unemployed..

lepas result kuar, wah rasanya bagai dunia ini aku yg punya.. honestly, me myself feel that aku x layak dapat result mcm tue, tp dah tuhan bg rezeki mcm tu so terima je.. alhamdulillah syukur sgt2.. so dgn qualification yg aku dpt nie,, nak gi mana?????

ustazah Norlela,bekas cikgu aku, bg nasihat utk apply study oversea. ok aku mmg ada angan2 utk study oversea but just angan2 maen2 je, xdalah serius sgt, x dapat pun takpa. so suddenly, friend of mine, Mariati ajak kitaorg apply scholarship JPA to pursue studies oversea. semangat jugak aku isi on9 borg biasiswa tue, siap cek kat google lg segala info pasal study oversea.

puk pak puk pak i was in middle of sleeping that time and suddenly i receives a call from embak a.k.a Mariati. 'bulan, ko dapat kah program pendedahan kerjaya tue?' aku pun 'ha??? aku xtau pun.. macam mana nak cek??' blablablablabla.. so aku dapat..meluangkan masa seminggu di hospital, melihat doktor2 buat kerja merupakan pengalaman yg sgt berharga.

lepas tue, interview lah plak. ok it was my first interview ever. so tipulah law x nervous. dahlah masuk the first group plak tue.. so... ok jak lah.. biasa2 jak.. yg penting jawab jak apa yg dia tanya. Then, while waiting for the interview, result matrix pun kuar. so dapat matrix labuan. By that time, agak hepy lah jugak sebab mostly kwn2 semua dapat situ. n mmg perancangan awal selepas spm nak masuk matrix je, xnak lebih2.. hee..

at the same time dapat jugak asasi sains hayat kat uia. ok sebenarnya saya tersalah isi borg. xtau pun first choice tue asasi medic kat uia tue. agak kecewa sbb x dapat asasi medic so tawar hati dah nak masuk uia tue.. hehe..

because of several reason, instead of going to matrix labuan, aku tlh dipindahkan ke matrix melaka. lgpun senang ada abg mengajar kat situ. mula2 mmg susah sgt2 nak adapt kat situ, semua budak semenanjung and kena speak semennjung, n i'm the only sabahn. naseb baek lah roomate aku baek n abg aku pun selalu hntr makann gak.. hehe..

but then result JPA pun kuar. dup dap dup dap aku dapat medic czech republic.. apakah??? dimana tue?? hehe mmg buta peta btul. n kena buat A-level setahun kat KOLEJ TEKNOLOGI TIMUR,SEPANG.. x pernah dgr pun kolej tue. boleh percaye ke kolej tue.. hehe..

so then finally aku pun decide utk pilih JPA tue. bukannya apa, i can see that my way to be a doctor is more clear when i'm under JPA. JPA would not let you go as long as you still have that passion of study.

so that's my pathway.. from SMK Kuhara to matrix melaka to ktt.. and look forward to czech republic amin.. or maybe indonesian or india or local..

virus infection

ask me the thing that i hate the most right now?????

my laptop had been infected right now. and it's getting slower and slower. what should i do??

i'll just wait for my brother to come home and kill that virus.. <geram sgt2!!>

kek coklat kukus

ok. Dah lama x post something. so this time nak share something dgn korg..

tadaaaaaaa !!

ha ni lah yg aku buat hari nie.. setelah menempuh pelbagai dugaan, org2 rumah yg cuba utk mematahkan semangat, namun aku tetap mencuba dan akhirnya jd lah kek ini yg sungguh lazat..!! sedap sgt2 dan bahan2nya pun sgtlah simple. Utk resepi boleh contact me directly coz i don't have the right to publish the recipe here.. terima kasih meor atas resepi topping yg sgt mudah dan lebih sedap tanpa menggunakan coklat masakan..

setelah dipotong, bolehlah dihidang sebegini.. :)

new habit-laugh out loud

i realize that i have a new habit which i think um...


"I cannot hold my laugh when I've been induce with something that is funny. I will laugh out loud for sure.. hee.."


ok i know sapa yg x gelak dgn benda yg lawak kan.. but mine is heavy case. sometimes benda kecik je terus gelak tergolek2. So people stop induce me or you will get annoyed by me. hehe. 1 year ago i'm not like this. Tp baguslah bila gelak hidup bertambah ceria dan awet muda. itu yg penting. hehe..

p/s : gelak adalah utk membayar balik hutang2 kesedihan yang lalu :)

medical check-up 2nd day

while doing my medical check up on the second day of it, i'd started my day by waking up early than usual.. then manage myself and straightly heading to the hospital by bus which only cost RM1. Straightly with some hesitating in myself, but walk with full of confident, i went to the specialty department which I need to check on my ear.. healthy, normal or not..(even i know it's healthy already) so EAR, NOSE and THROAT unit is my target.

walking on then alone.. i'm not quite surprised with tonnes of people there, as i know this is what happened at the hospital everyday, which also the reason that i wanna be a doctor. Ok honestly i don't know what i should do, should i just get in and say "Assalamualaikum, saya student JPA nak buat medical check-up" but then seeing people behind me waiting for their number to be called to meet the doctor make me think that kind of action would be inappropriate. so i just sit, waiting and waiting (which i don't seem really know what i waiting for)

but then something catch my eyes. 2 man which seems like a polices walk along together with the 2 prisoner heading to the 'bilik pemeriksaan'. I was curious about what they up to, so just sit there silently, watching their action. One of police get into the room and talks something with the doctor, and then he moved out somewhere maybe to get the number, the patient number. While another policemen keep watch them. They look so weak, with the old clothes and short pants they have to wear, it looks really uncomfortable. pity to them. and the worst is they are not allowed to sit on the chair. Maybe that they cannot stand anymore so they just sitting on the floor. Looking on that, i was like.. i think i wanna cry on the treat they were given. They are human too and as a human being we should treat another people as human to regardless who they are and what mistakes they've done before. But what can I do, I don't have the power, so i'll just watch criticizing inside.

I love You in 100 language

say your love in different language :))


English – I love you
Afrikaans – Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic – Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian – Yes kez sirumem
Bambara – M’bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian – Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian – Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T’estimo
Cherokee – Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne – Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese- Gua ai Di
Cantonese – Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin – Wo ai ni
Comanche – U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo—-ka-ma-koo-too—–nu) — Thx Tony
Corsican – Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech – Miluji te
Danish – Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle
Esperanto – Mi amas vin
Estonian – Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian – Afgreki’
Faroese – Eg elski teg
Farsi – Doset daram
Filipino – Mahal kita
Finnish – Mina rakastan sinua
French – Je t’aime, Je t’adore
Frisian – Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German – Ich liebe dich
Greek – S’agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon – Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew 
To female – “ani ohev otach” (said by male) “ohevet Otach” (said by female)
To male - “ani ohev otcha” (said by male) “Ohevet ot’cha” (said by female)
Hiligaynon – Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu’ umi unangwa’ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian – Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i’ ngra leat
Italian – Ti amo
Japanese – Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada – Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan – Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois – Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay – Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam – Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh’ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk – Eg elskar deg
Pandacan – Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian- Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese – Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic – Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana – Ke a go rata
Sign Language – ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing ‘I Love You’)
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux – Techihhila
Slovak – Lu`bim ta
Slovenian – Ljubim te
Spanish – Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili – Ninapenda wewe
Swedish – Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German – Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil – Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female – Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish – Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu – mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female – Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh – ‘Rwy’n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba – Mo ni fe
Zazi – Ezhele hezdege